Beach. Everyone has been working so hard lately so why not take a break and enjoy the beach? You can make sand castles, play in the water, and there are even umbrellas for those who'd rather just relax in the shade. There's a nice row of water melons ready to be smashed later in the day and when the sun goes down, that's when the sparklers come out.
Suffering. It's the hottest time of the year and the citadel doesn't have central air conditioning. The few air conditions that were installed have given up on life after being used so much and now, we really have to make do with what we can while the Konnosuke try to fix it. There's a limited number of fans, plenty of ice cream to go around, and the citadel should be built to circulate air, right? ... Right?!
Spooks. In Japan, summer is a time for horror. Gather around the camp fire and hear some spooky ghost stories or maybe head out into the woods just outside the citadel for a good ol' fashioned test of courage. It's all good, harmless fun! Of course, with so many spirits gathered in one place, what's to say a stray or curious outsider spirit won't join the mix...
Rain. Summer is also known for sudden and torrential downpours of rain. The clouds always seem to grown and darken suddenly and the next thing you know, it's raining sheets and the ground is shaking from thunder. Once it starts, it never seems to stop. Maybe you were caught out in the rain or maybe this is day 7 stuck inside.
Other! It's summer and there are tons of things to do. Go to the general store and stock up on ice cream, wake up in the middle of the night uncomfortable with heat, or run around screaming because cicadas are dying and flying at your face.
[Tonbokiri bows deeply in regret. Those were clearly not the words Ichigo needed.]
I beg your forgiveness. For someone like me to say such things... it must sound hollow.
But-- At the very least, know that there are many comrades at your side.
[Ichigo has his brothers, close comrades, and there are even other blades in a similar situation as him. Tonbokiri fervently wishes that the quietly proud tachi will find some respite in being near those important to his heart.
But not daring to voice that wish now, he straightens slowly and says,]
There’s no need to apologise. I know you mean well. I know I am surrounded by those I love and cherish and I am very happy that I’ve found Mikazuki again but... I just...there are still things I need to figure out on my own.
[For surely no one else here will truly understand what it’s like to be retempered...?]
It’s fine. You can stay if you want. I don’t mind.
Thank you for understanding. ... It would have been sad to leave you here after saying 'you're not alone', wouldn't it.
[Tonbokiri settles against a pillar of the balcony and loosely folds his arms as he looks out over the flowers for a long moment.]
... If I may press upon your good will further, Ichigo-dono, I do have something of a favour to ask in regards to this topic. However if it is something you would rather not speak of, I shall not ask anything further.
That there are comrades who carry some trauma, that is enough to know. But... [Tonbokiri looks down at the floorboards, sadness and concern clouding his expression as he murmurs,] but when he wakes from dreams of fire...
If you are willing, is there anything you would wish to convey, that might help me understand your situation better?
[Ichigo listens from where he still stands still looking out into the rain.]
... fire? Does your comrade suffer from amnesia as well?
Two of my brothers were engulfed in the flames with me and they, like me, have lost their memories... Our memories of our life at Osaka Castle are lost. I do not know the full extent of my brothers’ amnesia but I... only remember fragments here and there.
However, unlike my brothers, I was retrieved from the ashes and... retempered... Shokudaikiri-dono knew me from before and from what he’s said, it seems like my appearance and personality are now a little different from what I used to be like.... While Mikazuki won’t really tell me what the other me was like. I suppose he wants to protect me and doesn’t want me to think that he doesn’t love me anymore because I’m different now... He loves this me and I know that, but sometimes, it feels like he misses the other me...
Anyway, after my retempering, I think I fell asleep for a long time for when I finally awoke again, I was at the Imperial Collection. I could barely remember my own name.... It has taken me many years to remember what little memories I now have of my past and who I am. From time to time, I still have nightmares of that fire. The fire that took everything away from me.
[It’s better now that there’s someone to hold him at night, but that’s a private matter so he’s not going to disclose it.]
[To his credit, Ichigo is very forthcoming and honest. Far more than Tonbokiri expected for such a personal matter. Especially since this also touches upon his family.
It is with the deepest gravity and appreciation that he thanks Ichigo at the end.]
My thanks for being so forthcoming. I had no idea that a retempering could affect one so deeply, and in so many ways. It gives me much to be mindful of.
[He can barely imagine what it would be like. Small wonder Ichigo-dono wanted to try and find his memories on his own, especially when those memories might not fit well with the current self he has become... He shakes his head regretfully. What he had said about even forgotten experiences making him the person he is now--]
What I had said before becomes even more hollow... No, it shatters. My apologies again.
As for the one who dreams of fire, Otegine is among my closest comrades, and yet I regret to say that I do not know the extent of his loss. Although I have not noticed anything obvious thus far about his memories, I know he does suffer from memories of fire. I feel it is not my place to say too much, but he was completely destroyed by a fire while in storage.
[Well, he’s kept all this inside for a long time and really just needed someone who wasn’t his family or those he loved to talk to. He doesn’t want his loved ones to worry.]
There is no need to apologise. There was no way you could have known. [His lovely and flamboyant midare hamon was completely straightened...]
Completely destroyed... [He falls silent for a moment.] I suppose we are all affected by fire in different ways. Shokudaikiri-dono was in a fire too but his memories weren’t affected either.
[If you wanted to talk to someone who wouldn't worry, you came to the wrong spear. However, Ichigo can rest easy knowing that Tonbokiri will hold all this in confidence.]
[Tonbokiri shakes his head in melancholy admiration.]
Everyone carries themselves with pride; I could hardly guess at such a history haunting any of you.
[That idea is so terrifying, it gets a visceral reaction out of Tonbokiri. Straightening, he steps towards Ichigo and puts his hands on his shoulders heavily.]
That will not happen. Aruji will not allow it. Your comrades will not allow it.
[As dedicated to his master Tonbokiri is, it takes him a reluctant beat to agree. The despair in those eyes-- can words not cut through it?]
It is true that Aruji cannot control everything. But you can believe in him still. Look at his efforts to rectify the uncontrollable changes to history. How much more would he do for us, who are so close to him?
[He waits patiently, and worries, through that long silence.]
Ichigo-dono...
[He wants to encourage him that that is not 'all' he can do. That he already is doing more by trying to remember, and speaking to those who knew him in the past...
Tonbokiri gently squeezes Ichigo's shoulders before lifting his hands. He tries to simply smile encouragingly instead putting it all into words, but his own amber-yellow eyes betray his concern.]
[He would smile back, but he doesn't have the strength to right now. He's so exhausted mentally. Instead he reaches up to lightly touch Tonbokiri's cheek to acknowledge and thank him for his concern.]
Thank you, Tonbokiri-dono. You have a very kind heart.
[The gesture surprises him in how intimate it is compared to a pat on the shoulder, but he understands the thanks behind it. Ichigo is such an elegant sword.]
As do you.
I did not say much of use, but should you ever again wish to speak to me of these matters, you are always welcome. At the very least, I can listen to you.
[He manages just a hint of a smile, then he shakes his head.]
No, what you’ve said meant a lot and you were here at the right time. I suppose I really did need someone... to listen to all these things I’ve kept inside. It’s difficult to tell all this to the people around me... as I know it’ll break their hearts....
[And now as he thinks about it, he feels a little guilty...] ... I’m sorry for dumping all this on you instead...
[Considering how very hopeless Ichigo had been looking, even that sliver of a smile eases his mind, and what he has to say reassures him even more.]
Not at all. I'm glad you could speak to me about it.
These human hearts are fragile, it's true. So what can be shared, should be shared. [He smiles sadly in remembrance.] Not my words, but still relevant.
I will. Well, I’d better go back inside now. It’s time to prepare afternoon snacks for my brothers and to see how they’re getting on with their arts and craft projects.
[He turns to leave as well, but that thunder gives him pause. Wow, that was close-- Then there is the sound of Ichigo losing his footing! Concerned, Tonbokiri takes a few steps back towards the sword.]
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Perhaps...
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I beg your forgiveness. For someone like me to say such things... it must sound hollow.
But-- At the very least, know that there are many comrades at your side.
[Ichigo has his brothers, close comrades, and there are even other blades in a similar situation as him.
Tonbokiri fervently wishes that the quietly proud tachi will find some respite in being near those important to his heart.
But not daring to voice that wish now, he straightens slowly and says,]
By your leave, perhaps I should be going...
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[For surely no one else here will truly understand what it’s like to be retempered...?]
It’s fine. You can stay if you want. I don’t mind.
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[Tonbokiri settles against a pillar of the balcony and loosely folds his arms as he looks out over the flowers for a long moment.]
... If I may press upon your good will further, Ichigo-dono, I do have something of a favour to ask in regards to this topic. However if it is something you would rather not speak of, I shall not ask anything further.
That there are comrades who carry some trauma, that is enough to know. But... [Tonbokiri looks down at the floorboards, sadness and concern clouding his expression as he murmurs,] but when he wakes from dreams of fire...
If you are willing, is there anything you would wish to convey, that might help me understand your situation better?
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... fire? Does your comrade suffer from amnesia as well?
Two of my brothers were engulfed in the flames with me and they, like me, have lost their memories... Our memories of our life at Osaka Castle are lost. I do not know the full extent of my brothers’ amnesia but I... only remember fragments here and there.
However, unlike my brothers, I was retrieved from the ashes and... retempered... Shokudaikiri-dono knew me from before and from what he’s said, it seems like my appearance and personality are now a little different from what I used to be like.... While Mikazuki won’t really tell me what the other me was like. I suppose he wants to protect me and doesn’t want me to think that he doesn’t love me anymore because I’m different now... He loves this me and I know that, but sometimes, it feels like he misses the other me...
Anyway, after my retempering, I think I fell asleep for a long time for when I finally awoke again, I was at the Imperial Collection. I could barely remember my own name.... It has taken me many years to remember what little memories I now have of my past and who I am. From time to time, I still have nightmares of that fire. The fire that took everything away from me.
[It’s better now that there’s someone to hold him at night, but that’s a private matter so he’s not going to disclose it.]
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It is with the deepest gravity and appreciation that he thanks Ichigo at the end.]
My thanks for being so forthcoming. I had no idea that a retempering could affect one so deeply, and in so many ways. It gives me much to be mindful of.
[He can barely imagine what it would be like. Small wonder Ichigo-dono wanted to try and find his memories on his own, especially when those memories might not fit well with the current self he has become... He shakes his head regretfully. What he had said about even forgotten experiences making him the person he is now--]
What I had said before becomes even more hollow... No, it shatters. My apologies again.
As for the one who dreams of fire, Otegine is among my closest comrades, and yet I regret to say that I do not know the extent of his loss. Although I have not noticed anything obvious thus far about his memories, I know he does suffer from memories of fire. I feel it is not my place to say too much, but he was completely destroyed by a fire while in storage.
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There is no need to apologise. There was no way you could have known. [His lovely and flamboyant midare hamon was completely straightened...]
Completely destroyed... [He falls silent for a moment.] I suppose we are all affected by fire in different ways. Shokudaikiri-dono was in a fire too but his memories weren’t affected either.
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[Tonbokiri shakes his head in melancholy admiration.]
Everyone carries themselves with pride; I could hardly guess at such a history haunting any of you.
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I suppose it’s because sometimes our pride is the only thing we have left.
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[He-- was maybe hasty to say that. He knows what Ichigo means. But hopefully he knows what Tonbokiri means in turn.]
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Until they are all taken away from me again or I wake up one day with no memory of any of them again.
[Sorry, Tonbokiri, the endless rain has put him in a mood and brought out the tragic, brooding, amnesiac prince side of him...]
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[That idea is so terrifying, it gets a visceral reaction out of Tonbokiri.
Straightening, he steps towards Ichigo and puts his hands on his shoulders heavily.]
That will not happen. Aruji will not allow it. Your comrades will not allow it.
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I want to believe in that but there are things outside Aruji's control...
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The despair in those eyes-- can words not cut through it?]
It is true that Aruji cannot control everything. But you can believe in him still. Look at his efforts to rectify the uncontrollable changes to history. How much more would he do for us, who are so close to him?
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...
... believe in Aruji... I suppose that's all I can do.
[What other choice is there really... But the seed of sorrow inside him cannot be erased. It can be suppressed but never truly eliminated.]
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Ichigo-dono...
[He wants to encourage him that that is not 'all' he can do. That he already is doing more by trying to remember, and speaking to those who knew him in the past...
Tonbokiri gently squeezes Ichigo's shoulders before lifting his hands.
He tries to simply smile encouragingly instead putting it all into words, but his own amber-yellow eyes betray his concern.]
You can. And so you will.
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Thank you, Tonbokiri-dono. You have a very kind heart.
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As do you.
I did not say much of use, but should you ever again wish to speak to me of these matters, you are always welcome. At the very least, I can listen to you.
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No, what you’ve said meant a lot and you were here at the right time. I suppose I really did need someone... to listen to all these things I’ve kept inside. It’s difficult to tell all this to the people around me... as I know it’ll break their hearts....
[And now as he thinks about it, he feels a little guilty...] ... I’m sorry for dumping all this on you instead...
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Not at all. I'm glad you could speak to me about it.
These human hearts are fragile, it's true. So what can be shared, should be shared. [He smiles sadly in remembrance.] Not my words, but still relevant.
So again, seek me out any time, Ichigo-dono.
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Those are wise words.
I will. Well, I’d better go back inside now. It’s time to prepare afternoon snacks for my brothers and to see how they’re getting on with their arts and craft projects.
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Of course. Thank you for your time. You helped me with your words today, as well.
[He bows politely.]
Until later, then.
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Until later.
[But as he’s returning indoors, there’s a sudden very loud clap of thunder that startles him and causes him to lose his footing!]
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Then there is the sound of Ichigo losing his footing! Concerned, Tonbokiri takes a few steps back towards the sword.]
That was loud, wasn't it. Are you all right?
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Ah, I’m fine, Tonbokiri-dono. That really was-
[Then he stumbles a bit and reaches out to one of the pillars to steady himself. Seems like he might have twisted one of his ankles a bit. Ow...]
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