[Ichigo silently stepped out of the huge room he shared with his brothers, careful not to wake any of them. Then he made his way out into the courtyard of the citadel and sat down on the veranda. He sighed as he gazed up at the full moon, trying to forget the nightmare he'd just awakened from.
He hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days, but he did his best to hide it. He didn't want anyone to worry about him, especially not his little brothers.
He couldn't really remember his nightmare actually but he shuddered as he recalled the debilitating sense of despair and the scorching flames. The flames... The flames that... He immediately shook his head, trying to clear it and flopped down on the wooden floorboards. He was so very tired but he dared not close his eyes for he feared what awaited him as soon as he drifted off to sleep.]
( It's not unusual for some of the spirits at the citadel to have a difficult time sleeping. So many of them are haunted by their pasts and the dark seems to bring it a little closer to everyone. Tsurumaru isn't an exception to that rule. Sometimes there are nights where he'd rather be awake than with his dreams. But this isn't one of those nights. It's just an ordinary enough night, one where he just happens to be awake later than most others. He was even on his way to his room to retire for the night when he happened upon Ichigo on the veranda. )
My, my, what a surprise...
( He crossed his arms across his chest, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his yukata. Unlike his usual white during the day, it's a dark, almost black blue for the night. )
This isn't a very good example for the little ones.
( They'll riot if they find out Ichigo is awake past his bed time. )
[Please excuse Ichigo as his sleep deprived brain attempts to slowly process what he’s seeing. Due to his dark yukata, Tsurumaru looks more like a disembodied head floating in the darkness to him and he thinks he must have drifted off to sleep somehow and was having a very bizarre dream. Well, this was much better than that other dream as least. The crane sword did have a somewhat comforting presence even if Ichigo did find him a bit exasperating at times, especially when he insisted on pulling childish pranks, but Ichigo supposes that’s part of his charm.
Anyway, Ichigo still believes he’s dreaming and doesn’t move from where he’s just spread out on the floor in what should have been a rather unprincely manner, yet somehow, he still manages to look graceful. He gazes up at the other with a tired smile.]
It’s all right. They’re all asleep. What are you doing here, Tsurumaru-dono?
( It's definitely not princely and that's the real surprise here but there's a time and place for these comments. He knew Ichigo well enough to have an idea of why he might be up this late and as someone else who was also haunted by phantom memories, he knew this sort of thing needed a more sensitive touch.
... He'd really expected Ichigo to sit up by now, though. Were the nightmares that bad? Or is Ichigo that tired? Well, it doesn't show on Tsurumaru's face for now other than him seeming as amused as ever, )
Are they? ( He hummed a little bit to himself. Well, of course they're asleep. They're good children, after all. ) Hmm... why am I here? The same reason as you, perhaps....
( And he grinned, )
Watching the moon, of course. ( Not really. ) It's beautiful tonight, don't you think?
[Sorry, Tsuru, he doesn’t feel like sitting up for now. He’s way too exhausted to care thanks to lack of sleep and having to look after way too many children for one person to handle. Fortunately, his brothers were well-behaved most of the time, but there was chaos at bath time today and it took forever to tuck everyone in and... he just badly needs a few hours away from having to be the perfect big brother.]
Yes, they are. Finally. [He sighs softly and closes his eyes for a moment, before looking up at Tsuru in slight surprise.] The same reason...? You are also hav- [Then Tsuru mentions the moon and Ichigo turns his gaze towards it as well.] Yes, it is. [The moon. Somehow he has a feeling that he’s supposed to remember something related to the moon. Not the full moon. The moon at some other time...? But the thought is fleeting and he’s unable to grasp onto it before it slips away, back into the abyss of his lost memories.]
[Ichigo moves to sit up then looks over at Tsuru with a smile.] Would you like to have a drink with me, Tsurumaru-dono? Since it’s such a beautiful night. [Maybe getting drunk would stop the nightmares?]
He thought so and when Ichigo starts to shift, Tsurumaru leans against one of the columns. He's quiet for a moment, looking up at the moon with Ichigo. Yes, it is a beautiful moon and he wonders what Ichigo really thinks about that. There's the crescent moon for viewing, the moon that both he and Ichigo are both very familiar with though, in Ichigo's case, some of that familiarity is lost. Instead, the moon they look up at now is a full moon, a perfectly golden circle. ... It's more like Tsurumaru's eyes than someone else's.
He looked down at Ichigo, making sure to keep his own expression pleasant and not too easy to ready, )
I should be getting to bed and you should too. ( It's a last chance to return to bed and act like their meeting in the night never happened, ) But if you're inviting me.... then I suppose I can't refuse.
( So yes, he'd gladly share a drink with Ichigo. )
[Ichigo shook his head at the mention of going to bed.] I... don’t want to go back yet... [Then he smiled brightly.] Great! I’ll go get the sake then. [It would be nice to spend time with someone his age for a change, okay, not really his age but well, an adult.]
Ah, do you want something to eat- [But then he stood too quickly, immediately felt light-headed and almost loses his footing...]
(Even if he smiles brightly, Tsurumaru knew exactly what was on his mind. Or at least, he thought he knew.
As Ichigo started to get up, Tsurumaru could see him losing his balance. Quickly, he reached out to grab Ichigo, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him upright and close. He definitely only did this because it was the best way to keep him from falling. But it feels nice being close like this. Well, he won't focus on that too much,)
You haven't been drinking already, have you? (Really, losing your balance and stumbling around like this... But he's teasing and laughing.) You don't have to take care of everyone all of the time, Ichigo Hitofuri.
[Ichigo was about to reach out for one of the pillars to right himself when he suddenly found himself swept into the other's arms and looking into Tsurumaru's much too close face! It was a very beautiful face granted and he didn't at all mind looking into it, but it was too close! This-This wasn't proper at all!! They didn't know each other that well after all! What if someone saw them? The scandal!
He should probably step back, but it would be rude to push Tsurumaru away, wouldn't it? And... it actually felt kind of nice to be held like that. It even felt familiar somehow, as if someone used to hold him like that.]
No, I haven't... I just... [A light dusting of pink coloured his cheeks when Tsuru started laughing.] I wasn't trying to take care of everyone... [And he tried his best to resist burying his head in shame again Tsurumaru as that would be highly inappropriate, even if he really wanted to.]
( It's definitely nice. Which probably explains why Tsurumaru hasn't let him go even now. The flustered expression really just makes him laugh even more but he's careful to not laugh too loud. He wouldn't want to wake anyone up and ruin their time alone. )
What's with the expression? ( It's not quite surprise but, well, he'll take it. Well, if they're going to be close like this, he doesn't mind having a little bit of fun, ) Let me take care of you.
( And he let Ichigo go, offering up his arm for him to take, )
W-What expression? [He tries his best to keep his expression neutral and to will his blush away, but it isn’t working... Then his eyes widen in surprise at what Tsuru says next!] Eh?
[Ichigo is left standing there in slight confusion when Tsuru lets go as he tries to figure out what Tsuru meant by that. There were so many ways to interpret ‘Let me take care of you’ but when you say that to someone while holding them close like that, it probably means.... but then Tsuru mentions eating and Ichigo turns a slightly brighter shade of pink as he thinks he’d completely misunderstood Tsuru’s offer to take care of him. Yes, Tsuru must have just meant getting something to eat and not... Ahhh! This is so very embarrassing!]
Ah. Yes, I’d like that. [Ichigo then hesitates for a second to compose himself before taking Tsuru’s arm.] Thank you.
( The kind of look he likes! Surprises are important in life and it's good for Ichigo to experience them.
It's not that Ichigo misunderstood. Tsurumaru is just a spirit prone to flightiness, especially when he gets close to people. He's used to being moved around and never getting to stay with anywhere he really likes. Even if it's someone he really likes. But Ichigo is special. The Imperial Collection was the longest Tsurumaru had ever stayed in one place and he'd known Ichigo for most of that time. It's why he knew about the nightmares and could tell how flustered Ichigo was right now.
With him on his arm, he pat Ichigo's hand with his free one and began to walk towards the kitchen. Yes, they're just getting snacks and drinks, )
Hm? Haha! Don't worry, don't worry. ( There's nothing to thank him for. And since they were close, he quietly adds, ) We all have dreams.
[Ichigo let Tsuru lead him. The hand patting is kind of comforting and he subconsciously leans closer to Tsuru. It does feel rather nice to just relax and let someone else make the decisions and look after him for a change.
Tsurumaru is special to Ichigo as well since he was the first spirit he saw when he finally awoke at the Imperial Collection from his deep slumber after being reforged. Tsurumaru was there to welcome him and was there when Ichigo first struggled to come to terms with his amnesia.]
... that's true. But...
[Surely not everyone dreams of being burnt alive though.]
But.... [He looks over at Tsurumaru, contemplating whether or not to tell him. Surely he could entrust the other with his secret. He didn’t want his brothers to know after all.]
I... [Ichigo pauses again before deciding to go with his gut feeling and trust in Tsurumaru. Tsurumaru is the one he knows the longest after all and despite his tendency to be frivolous, Ichigo does feel that he can be relied on in times of need.] I haven’t been sleeping much for the last few days... Each time I close my eyes, I feel and see flames all around me and things crumbling away into nothing... I...
( He slows down his walk as he waits and listens. He isn't going to pry more than he needs to. It's up to Ichigo to decide if he wants to open up or not and... there it is. )
That won't do at all.
( There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have suffered and want others to suffer too. And then there are those who have suffered and don't want any others to suffer. Tsurumaru is firmly the latter. He has nightmares of his own and because of that, he only wants others to have sweet dreams. Ichigo is no exception. He's also special, though, but for a different reason.
He hums a little to himself and picks up his pace, taking Ichigo inside the citadel, away from the garden, and into darker halls towards the kitchen. When they arrive, he makes sure the doors are closed so the kitchen light won't wake anyone and he lets Ichigo go to dig through the cabinets and pantries, )
Cold sake, then. ( To cool the flames. And a plate of senbei and other crackers. Perhaps a little bit of konpeito, too, to make things a little sweeter. ) Let's go to the tatami room.
( The empty one nearby. They can grab some cushions and some blankets and relax over their drinks. He'll carry everything and set the table for them. )
If you see flames when your eyes are closed, I'll just have to keep them on me.
[Ichigo feels a little awkward just standing there as Tsurumaru digs round for the food and drinks then sets the table. He’s the one who takes care of everything and one after all. He isn’t used to being served, or was he?
He spots the cushions and is about to help get some when all of a sudden, he faintly recalls having servants, spirits of various household objects, helping him get dressed in the morning. He even remembers glimpsing long sky blue hair reflected in a mirror as one of the servants brush his hair...
Ichigo, in the present, reaches up to touch his short hair and can almost feel it being long, but as usual these recollections of his lost past vanish as quickly as they appear.
He is roused from his reverie by Tsurumaru’s voice and looks over, just in time to catch what Tsuru says about having to keep his eyes on him instead. A light flush immediately rose to his cheeks.]
( He watches as Ichigo's hand reaches to touch his hair and wonders what is on his mind. Tsurumaru didn't know him back then so he doesn't know about how different he may have looked before. Hm.
Well, he doesn't let his own expression change too much, keeping as cool and collected as ever. It is, after all, how he's known for being. Even when in battle, he can stay cool and reliable.
He smiled, )
I'm certainly a better sight than those dreams. ( He knows he's beautiful. ) Don't you think?
[Ichigo shyly adverts his eyes from Tsurumaru as he quickly goes to gather up the cushions and sets them down for them.]
Y-yes, that's true. You are very beautiful.
[But now he is much too embarrassed to actually look at Tsurumaru... He kneels down neatly across the table from Tsurumaru and takes a sip of sake then just keeps looking down at his cup for now.]
He's been called beautiful before. He's been called beautiful so often, he's more than aware that it's true. But to hear it from Ichigo is... nicer than he expected. It's almost surprising.
Compared to Ichigo, Tsurumaru is much more relaxed. He places his elbow on the table and rests the side of his face on his hand, watching him. Ah, he's embarrassed him. Maybe he should give it a bit of a rest? It's no fun if the situation becomes too uncomfortable. )
[This is such an interesting sake cup. Ichigo looks into it for a while longer before glancing over at Tsurumaru.]
When? Well... three or four days ago?Though I have been able to take little naps in between. [Then he laughs sheepishly.] I almost fell asleep against one of the horses today while I was brushing it.
( It wouldn't do to be tired on the battlefield. He wouldn't be alert and if you can't pay attention, who knows what you might miss out there. It could mean life or death. )
( He'll pour a little more sake into Ichigo's cup and then help himself to some, )
Of course. ( He might be cool, even to the point of being distant at times, but Tsurumaru has always had a soft spot for children, ) Then let's drink away some of our worries tonight, Ichigo Hitofuri.
( And when it's time to sleep, Tsurumaru will make sure to tuck him in. )
But you know... I think they would be relieved to know what was troubling you.
[Ichigo nods at that and takes again sip.] Thank you, Tsurumaru-dono. [Then he gave a little, almost lighthearted, chuckle.] It won’t take too long as I actually don’t have a high tolerance for alcohol. [Which was one of the reasons he rarely drank, the other being that he didn’t want to set a bad example for his brothers.]
[He might also appreciate a little cuddle perhaps~ :3c]
[He shook his head.] I want them to be as carefree as possible and to just be children. Having to go into battle is already stressful enough for them. [And extremely stressful for Ichigo as he worries each time one of his brothers has to go into battle without him...]
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cawaii
Tsuru
He hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days, but he did his best to hide it. He didn't want anyone to worry about him, especially not his little brothers.
He couldn't really remember his nightmare actually but he shuddered as he recalled the debilitating sense of despair and the scorching flames. The flames... The flames that... He immediately shook his head, trying to clear it and flopped down on the wooden floorboards. He was so very tired but he dared not close his eyes for he feared what awaited him as soon as he drifted off to sleep.]
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My, my, what a surprise...
( He crossed his arms across his chest, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his yukata. Unlike his usual white during the day, it's a dark, almost black blue for the night. )
This isn't a very good example for the little ones.
( They'll riot if they find out Ichigo is awake past his bed time. )
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Anyway, Ichigo still believes he’s dreaming and doesn’t move from where he’s just spread out on the floor in what should have been a rather unprincely manner, yet somehow, he still manages to look graceful. He gazes up at the other with a tired smile.]
It’s all right. They’re all asleep. What are you doing here, Tsurumaru-dono?
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... He'd really expected Ichigo to sit up by now, though. Were the nightmares that bad? Or is Ichigo that tired? Well, it doesn't show on Tsurumaru's face for now other than him seeming as amused as ever, )
Are they? ( He hummed a little bit to himself. Well, of course they're asleep. They're good children, after all. ) Hmm... why am I here? The same reason as you, perhaps....
( And he grinned, )
Watching the moon, of course. ( Not really. ) It's beautiful tonight, don't you think?
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Yes, they are. Finally. [He sighs softly and closes his eyes for a moment, before looking up at Tsuru in slight surprise.] The same reason...? You are also hav- [Then Tsuru mentions the moon and Ichigo turns his gaze towards it as well.] Yes, it is. [The moon. Somehow he has a feeling that he’s supposed to remember something related to the moon. Not the full moon. The moon at some other time...? But the thought is fleeting and he’s unable to grasp onto it before it slips away, back into the abyss of his lost memories.]
[Ichigo moves to sit up then looks over at Tsuru with a smile.] Would you like to have a drink with me, Tsurumaru-dono? Since it’s such a beautiful night. [Maybe getting drunk would stop the nightmares?]
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Bad dreams?
He thought so and when Ichigo starts to shift, Tsurumaru leans against one of the columns. He's quiet for a moment, looking up at the moon with Ichigo. Yes, it is a beautiful moon and he wonders what Ichigo really thinks about that. There's the crescent moon for viewing, the moon that both he and Ichigo are both very familiar with though, in Ichigo's case, some of that familiarity is lost. Instead, the moon they look up at now is a full moon, a perfectly golden circle. ... It's more like Tsurumaru's eyes than someone else's.
He looked down at Ichigo, making sure to keep his own expression pleasant and not too easy to ready, )
I should be getting to bed and you should too. ( It's a last chance to return to bed and act like their meeting in the night never happened, ) But if you're inviting me.... then I suppose I can't refuse.
( So yes, he'd gladly share a drink with Ichigo. )
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Ah, do you want something to eat- [But then he stood too quickly, immediately felt light-headed and almost loses his footing...]
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As Ichigo started to get up, Tsurumaru could see him losing his balance. Quickly, he reached out to grab Ichigo, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him upright and close. He definitely only did this because it was the best way to keep him from falling. But it feels nice being close like this. Well, he won't focus on that too much,)
You haven't been drinking already, have you? (Really, losing your balance and stumbling around like this... But he's teasing and laughing.) You don't have to take care of everyone all of the time, Ichigo Hitofuri.
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He should probably step back, but it would be rude to push Tsurumaru away, wouldn't it? And... it actually felt kind of nice to be held like that. It even felt familiar somehow, as if someone used to hold him like that.]
No, I haven't... I just... [A light dusting of pink coloured his cheeks when Tsuru started laughing.] I wasn't trying to take care of everyone... [And he tried his best to resist burying his head in shame again Tsurumaru as that would be highly inappropriate, even if he really wanted to.]
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What's with the expression? ( It's not quite surprise but, well, he'll take it. Well, if they're going to be close like this, he doesn't mind having a little bit of fun, ) Let me take care of you.
( And he let Ichigo go, offering up his arm for him to take, )
Do you want something to eat?
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[Ichigo is left standing there in slight confusion when Tsuru lets go as he tries to figure out what Tsuru meant by that. There were so many ways to interpret ‘Let me take care of you’ but when you say that to someone while holding them close like that, it probably means.... but then Tsuru mentions eating and Ichigo turns a slightly brighter shade of pink as he thinks he’d completely misunderstood Tsuru’s offer to take care of him. Yes, Tsuru must have just meant getting something to eat and not... Ahhh! This is so very embarrassing!]
Ah. Yes, I’d like that. [Ichigo then hesitates for a second to compose himself before taking Tsuru’s arm.] Thank you.
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( The kind of look he likes! Surprises are important in life and it's good for Ichigo to experience them.
It's not that Ichigo misunderstood. Tsurumaru is just a spirit prone to flightiness, especially when he gets close to people. He's used to being moved around and never getting to stay with anywhere he really likes. Even if it's someone he really likes. But Ichigo is special. The Imperial Collection was the longest Tsurumaru had ever stayed in one place and he'd known Ichigo for most of that time. It's why he knew about the nightmares and could tell how flustered Ichigo was right now.
With him on his arm, he pat Ichigo's hand with his free one and began to walk towards the kitchen. Yes, they're just getting snacks and drinks, )
Hm? Haha! Don't worry, don't worry. ( There's nothing to thank him for. And since they were close, he quietly adds, ) We all have dreams.
( Even bad ones. )
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Tsurumaru is special to Ichigo as well since he was the first spirit he saw when he finally awoke at the Imperial Collection from his deep slumber after being reforged. Tsurumaru was there to welcome him and was there when Ichigo first struggled to come to terms with his amnesia.]
... that's true. But...
[Surely not everyone dreams of being burnt alive though.]
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But~?
( He's listening. )
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I... [Ichigo pauses again before deciding to go with his gut feeling and trust in Tsurumaru. Tsurumaru is the one he knows the longest after all and despite his tendency to be frivolous, Ichigo does feel that he can be relied on in times of need.] I haven’t been sleeping much for the last few days... Each time I close my eyes, I feel and see flames all around me and things crumbling away into nothing... I...
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That won't do at all.
( There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have suffered and want others to suffer too. And then there are those who have suffered and don't want any others to suffer. Tsurumaru is firmly the latter. He has nightmares of his own and because of that, he only wants others to have sweet dreams. Ichigo is no exception. He's also special, though, but for a different reason.
He hums a little to himself and picks up his pace, taking Ichigo inside the citadel, away from the garden, and into darker halls towards the kitchen. When they arrive, he makes sure the doors are closed so the kitchen light won't wake anyone and he lets Ichigo go to dig through the cabinets and pantries, )
Cold sake, then. ( To cool the flames. And a plate of senbei and other crackers. Perhaps a little bit of konpeito, too, to make things a little sweeter. ) Let's go to the tatami room.
( The empty one nearby. They can grab some cushions and some blankets and relax over their drinks. He'll carry everything and set the table for them. )
If you see flames when your eyes are closed, I'll just have to keep them on me.
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He spots the cushions and is about to help get some when all of a sudden, he faintly recalls having servants, spirits of various household objects, helping him get dressed in the morning. He even remembers glimpsing long sky blue hair reflected in a mirror as one of the servants brush his hair...
Ichigo, in the present, reaches up to touch his short hair and can almost feel it being long, but as usual these recollections of his lost past vanish as quickly as they appear.
He is roused from his reverie by Tsurumaru’s voice and looks over, just in time to catch what Tsuru says about having to keep his eyes on him instead. A light flush immediately rose to his cheeks.]
K-keep them on you?
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Well, he doesn't let his own expression change too much, keeping as cool and collected as ever. It is, after all, how he's known for being. Even when in battle, he can stay cool and reliable.
He smiled, )
I'm certainly a better sight than those dreams. ( He knows he's beautiful. ) Don't you think?
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Y-yes, that's true. You are very beautiful.
[But now he is much too embarrassed to actually look at Tsurumaru... He kneels down neatly across the table from Tsurumaru and takes a sip of sake then just keeps looking down at his cup for now.]
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He's been called beautiful before. He's been called beautiful so often, he's more than aware that it's true. But to hear it from Ichigo is... nicer than he expected. It's almost surprising.
Compared to Ichigo, Tsurumaru is much more relaxed. He places his elbow on the table and rests the side of his face on his hand, watching him. Ah, he's embarrassed him. Maybe he should give it a bit of a rest? It's no fun if the situation becomes too uncomfortable. )
... When did you last sleep well?
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When? Well... three or four days ago?Though I have been able to take little naps in between. [Then he laughs sheepishly.] I almost fell asleep against one of the horses today while I was brushing it.
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( It wouldn't do to be tired on the battlefield. He wouldn't be alert and if you can't pay attention, who knows what you might miss out there. It could mean life or death. )
And you've kept it from your brothers?
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Yes. I didn’t want them to worry. There’s no need to burden them with this. They are only children after all.
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Of course. ( He might be cool, even to the point of being distant at times, but Tsurumaru has always had a soft spot for children, ) Then let's drink away some of our worries tonight, Ichigo Hitofuri.
( And when it's time to sleep, Tsurumaru will make sure to tuck him in. )
But you know... I think they would be relieved to know what was troubling you.
( Some of them might even relate. )
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[He might also appreciate a little cuddle perhaps~ :3c]
[He shook his head.] I want them to be as carefree as possible and to just be children. Having to go into battle is already stressful enough for them. [And extremely stressful for Ichigo as he worries each time one of his brothers has to go into battle without him...]
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