4 ❀ 花吐き病

[konnosuke]

H A N A H A K I ✿

Hanahaki is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.

Comments

[cranelike]

( He buries his face into Mikazuki, trying to rest. His voice is barely a murmur because it's spoken into his fabric, )

Of course I saw. ( He really did. ) But you know...

( It isn't easy for him to open his heart to others. Even to Mikazuki. )

[tsukijiji]

Did you think that if you ignored it, it would just... go away?

.... you know, I really think I am lucky not to have been the one to end up like this.

[After all, weren't you the one not returning his feelings? And yet... and yet he didn't end up like this, somehow. Which can only mean that he somehow knew that his feelings were not unrequited... and yet you didn't.]

You really like to make things more complicated than they are, Kuninaga.

[cranelike]

I thought it wouldn't be a problem.

(And it wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't gotten sick. Things would have gone about as they'd been before, casually flirting and enjoying each other's company but not having to actually commit to anything.

He seems to resting a lot easier now, body relaxing and beginning to recover from his earlier fit. He needs a moment longer to rest and gather his thoughts before he asks,)

What happens now?

[tsukijiji]

What do you want, Kuninaga?

[That's what's going to happen, basically. You are going to think about what you want, and then you are going to accept that you want it, and then you are going to ask for it and take it.]

There are so many things I am ready to give to you... And I have already given you what is most precious to me. What Aruji gave life to inside of me. So I hope you take care of it.

[His heart, that Tsurumaru can hear beat steadily in his chest.]

And that you will let me take care of you as well.

[cranelike]

(It's the kind of answer he expects and he stays still, even his breathing seeming to stop for a moment as he considers everything. Like this, he can hear Mikazuki's heart beat more. It makes him want to curl closer into Mikazuki, fitting against him so that he can be even closer.

He's regained all of the strength he can for now. He's still a little weak from having hidden things for so long but its nothing he can't push through. Shifting, he lifts himself so that he can be on top of Mikazuki, looking down at him with pale gold eyes. There's a mix of emotions-- sadness, longing, warmth, tiredness, seriousness, fear.)

For a thousand years. (For how long.) For a thousand years and more.

(Like a crane loves for life.)

I'll promise to love you.

[tsukijiji]

[Tsurumaru is light. He always has been, the bulk of his clothing hiding his lankiness. It's like having a soft, warm weight like a baby bird on top of him, and Mikazuki goes to cup Tsurumaru's cheek, thumb, rubbing it softly.]

I know, you will, Kuninaga.

... In fact, given what happened, I am pretty sure I knew it before you did.

[In fact, the whole Citadel knew it before you did. Please be more self aware, you dumb bird.]

[cranelike]

( It's still hard for him to be truly happy. Given his past, he's still hesitant to give himself over to someone completely. There's always that lingering fear that things will come to an end and he'll be hurt again in the worst way because it's never the easiest way. Having his namesake come from the crane is a blessing and a curse. It's an auspicious symbol known for it's intense loyalty to another but when separated, it dies. Or in his case, a part of him seems to die.

He leans into Mikazuki's touch and then lowers himself on top of him, moving close to kiss him on the lips. Speaking quietly so only MIkazuki can hear,, )

I love you.

( And he kisses him again. )

[tsukijiji]

[Mikazuki kisses him back softly, closing his arms around Tsurumaru to hold him close.

And then he whispers in Tsurumaru's ear.]

Rising and returning,
Filled with love,
However distant
You are, my heart
Lifts with the whitecaps.

[Another poem to add to the collection he has already given the crane sword.]

You need not ever doubt my feelings for you, Kuninaga.