minutemen | 4 ❀ 花吐き病

And do what? Be sent back with an order to rest and take it easy? You worry too much, Mikazuki.

( He insists. He can still feel something building up his throat, the breathe in his lungs struggling to come in and out. This isn't good and he knows that if he stays here any longer, he'll blow his cover. He needs to excuse himself and he stretches as casually as he can, trying to slip past Mikazuki, )

I'll go... rest for now. ( Or rather, try to hide away again. He sounds breathy, like it's getting harder to breathe and he's just forcing the words out for the sake fo it. ) It'll take.... more than a c... ( Ah, it's close. ) A cough to stop me.

[Oh no, he's not letting you get away with this one, Tsurumaru. he takes a step to the side to put himself in the way.

He can see you struggling to keep things down.]

You're short of breath all the time, and you've been coughing things up.

[Given what he can see now, he can only assume it has been going on for a while.]

( He's visibly annoyed and again, tries to push through. He has to get away. Has to... has to... Ah, he can hardly breathe anymore and he covers his mouth, coughing violently.

Don't come up, don't come up.

He can feel something his chest building up into his throat and he tries to suppress it. Ah, no, he can't stop it. He's endured this long enough to know what it feels like when something will happen. Through gasps, he pleads, )

Don't.... ( Cough, ) ... Look!

( Please.

Doubling over, there's a particularly violent cough like he might throw up and something comes up. he catches it in his hand, still coughing after and when it finally passes, he's perfectly still and quiet. His hand is full-- it's a full flower, he knows it-- and he needs to hide it. Muffled, speaking into his hand, )

Please. Leave me.

.... How can you ask me to leave you like this?

[How dare you ask him, in fact.]

Of all the surprises you have sprung on us...

[His goes to grab Tsurumaru's wrists, to make him lower his hands and see what he's holding. What he knows he's holding.]

I don't think I like this one very much.

Edited 2019-03-16 15:42 (UTC)

( Mikazuki is met with resistance as he tries to pull his hand back but he's still winded from his fit. His hand curls into a tight fist, but the edges of the flower show through his fingers still. Thin and bright red, the petals spread out and betray his secrets. Knowing that he's caught, he slowly reveals his hand to show the crushed flower. A red spider lily.

He says nothing. Some things don't need to be spoken. This is his secret. )

[Maybe he doesn't need to say anything, but Mikazuki has to.]

Why didn't you say anything before?

Did you hide this from Aruji too? She needs to know.

Edited 2019-03-16 16:29 (UTC)

Of course she doesn't.

( Why would he bother the saniwa with things like this? He gives his arm a tug, trying to pull it away from Mikazuki, )

Let me go.

[.... Really, Tsurumaru? Avoidance is one of the crane sword's usual tactics, but it is not acceptable here. Not when this is hurting him, not when it could become lethal ont he battlefield, either to Tsurumaru himself or to his comrades.

Mikazuki doesn't often drop the old man act. The people who have been on sortie with him knows better of course, or those more familiar with him from history, but it's easy to forget when he spends most of his days kipping chores and drinking tea.

Tsurumaru of all people should know better. There won't be a warning before Mikazuki just grabs him and hauls him over his shoulder and starts walking towards their Master's room.]

( How can he act so cool when he's suddenly so surprised?! )

Eh?

( He only has a brief moment to really react before he finds himself swung over Mikazuki's shoulder. Trying to straighten himself and push himself off, he braces atop against Mikazuki's shoulder. )

Put me down! ( It sounds like indignant squawking, the opposite of whatever cool grace he was trying to project, ) Put me down, old man! This isn't in character!

( Between his objections, he coughs from having to raise his voice. )

Stay in character, Mikazuki Munechi--

( --Ittai!

And he sure did just hit his head on a beam in the low ceiling, thanks. It isn't even that the ceiling is very low but when a 180 centimeter tachi carries a 177 centimeter tachi, their combined height is rather impressive, even like this. )

[Mikazuki doesn't even slow down. let the crane sword bang his head, maybe it'll knock some sense into him. To try and hide something like this from Aruji. To try and hide something like this from Mikazuki himself! The nerve of him!

Mikazuki doesn't even knock when he gets to his destination. He just opens the door, enters, closes the door behind him self and then just... dumps Tsurumaru on the floor in front of their bemused master.

And then crosses his arms.]

Go on, now. Tell her.

( He falls heavily with a thud on the floor and grimaces, sucking on his teeth loudly and for a long time making a shhhhhhhhhh sound. Holding his head still, he's too busy complaining to really make much of a fuss at all beyond that.

The saniwa looks too amused by Tsurumaru and Mikazuki, even if they're horribly confused. What did Tsurumaru do to work up MIkazuki so badly?And why does he look so serious? It probably isn't a laughing manner but for right now...

When Tsurumaru finally recovers, the first words out of his mouth are, )

He hit me!!

( Or rather, he let him get hit and that was horrible! )

[For the love of...

Mikazuki takes a step forward and... actually slaps the back of Tsurumaru's head. There, now you have something to complain about, you dumb crane!]

Tell her, or I will.

[he's not joking about that, Tsurumaru. Stop hiding, now is not the time.]

( Ittai!!!!

He holds his head with his hands and shrinks away from Mikazuki, scooting a little closer to the saniwa for protection and hisses in frustrated pain. He wants to snap something right back at him but that look in Mikazuki's eyes is enough to stop him silent.

He's quiet, looking away and biting down his tongue. That look... it's enough to make his chest feel tight and he groans. He doesn't want to tell the saniwa but he doesn't want Mikazuki to be the one to tell either. )

Aruji...

( He's stubborn and he curls his hands into fists, avoiding looking at both of them even though he can feel their eyes on him. He reaches into his sleeve and holds out a crushed flower from earlier and puts it down in front of them.

Of course, the saniwa is confused, asking what's happening and Tsurumaru stifles a small cough. He can't. He can't admit it. )

[Oh for the love of...

Mikazuki actually crouches next to Tsurumaru and grabs his kimono collar.]

Tell. Her.

[Tell her now, you stupid crane.

He's not upset that Tsurumaru loves someone. He's had a long life, he has loved many, he has lost many. So in the end, the 'who' doesn't really matter. Even if it's not him. But the hiding it, and hiding it until something like this develops and all but... kills him? because if left unaddressed it will kill him. Or at least kill a good part of him, if they use some other methods to get it out. And that is unacceptable.]

How could you let it go so long without saying anything?

( This isn't a side of Mikazuki he's used to seeing and he knows he can't dance his way out of this one. His eyes briefly meet his before looking away, guilty. )

It wasn't bad... at first.

( He coughs again, )

Aruji. I'm sick. ( And he tries to push Mikazuki off of him so that he can show the saniwa and Mikazuki. Kneeling before them both, he raises a hand to his chest, ) There's something inside me. ( Cough, cough. ) Spreading and growing.

( He covers his mouth as he coughs again, quiet for a moment before holding out his hand to reveal a red petal. )

A flowering disease.

( There, are you happy? )

[Of course he's not happy. But it needs to be said so something can be done about it.]

You know what this is, don't you, Aruji?

[Of course they do. They are well educated after all. But now that the cat is out of the bag... he turns to look at Tsurumaru again.]

I'll give you some privacy to discuss what needs to be done.

[After all, he knows Tsurumaru. He's probably embarrassed by his own emotions. Discussing this in front of Mikazuki would only make him cagey and try to hide more. but he still gives Tsurumaru a look before he stands up to leave the room. He will catch you afterwards, you dumb bird. He is not done scolding you.]

( He's relieved when Mikazuki leaves, feeling like he can take a breath again only to cough more as he exits. There's much to talk about with the saniwa and it isn't an easy conversation. It's one that lasts a long time and takes even longer because of his own inability to speak for too long. When he's finally set free, it's dark and past dinner. The saniwa will have to think about what to do-- urge Tsurumaru to be open with his feelings or resort to the last option.

In the kitchen, Tsurumaru drinks a cup of tea, trying to soothe his sore throat. He coughs again, sputtering tea back into the cup and more petals float to the surface.

Will it get to the point he can't even swallow? That would be bad, wouldn't it? )

[A hand comes from behind to catch the cup before it spills.]

Take smaller breaths. And drink just a little at a time.

[Mikazuki supports the cup for Tsurumaru, and helps him drink until the cup is empty.]

And before you ask, yes, I am still mad at you. I cannot believe you tried to hide this as it happened right in front of my eyes.

[It still rankles that you told him to leave while you were literally coughing your lungs out. How dare you.

There might not be much he is able to do in the end, because it depends on you and whoever that person you love is. But how dare you ask him, who almost raised you from the beginning, to leave you to suffer through this on your own?]

( He manages to get the tea down but it takes longer than it should. When he finishes, he can't quite bring himself to look at Mikazuki, )

... I didn't want anyone to worry.

And do you think we're less worried now?

[Really, Tsurumaru?]

You know the stories. You know that not saying anything at all makes it worse.

[Even for someone as avoidant as you, this is pushing things too far.]

Are you that scared of not being loved, Tsurumaru?

[When there are so many who love you, him included. He would gladly step aside to leave room for whoever your heart is set on if it meant you were happy. he didn't expect you to go and kill yourself with it.]

Well, you were all certainly less worried before.

( ANd now all of this attention on him... It's not that he isn't used to it. He is, after all, an imperial treasure and he was considered a work of art long before that. HE's used to people staring at him but always out of admiration. Now, he's painfully aware that he's defected and damaged and he doesn't like this one bit.

He coughs, covering his mouth and trying to keep back the petals building up from his chest, )

It's not that.

( He still can't look at Mikazuki. If he does, he knows it will only make this feeling in his chest worse.

And if he can't keep this a secret, he'll do the next best thing. Try to push away the thing he's avoiding, )

... Don't you think it would be nice, Mikazuki? To not be burdened with this feeling?

No, I don't.

[The answer comes out without any hesitation.

Contrary to what one may believe, since he is one of the oldest swords around, Mikazuki has taken to the whole 'physical body' and 'heart and soul' thing like a fish to water. Embraced all of it, from the get go. He is still very aware that he's not actually human, but he's been uncompromising in accepting and experiencing all of those things, whether good or bad, that he has seen his many masters go through.

He's not letting Tsurumaru run away from this. He cups the other tsukumogami's cheeks and makes him look up.]

Please, Tsurumaru...

I am not going to pry. I cannot make the decision for you. But please... I can't lose you like this.

[Because no matter what happens... if this is left to fester, Mikazuki will lose him. He knows it.]

( Why is he not surprised and his attempt at a laugh comes out as another cough.

The worst comes when Mikazuki takes a hold of him, forcing to look up. His eyes meet Mikazuki's and in that pale gold, there's an immense sadness, one that Tsurumaru has kept with him for millennium now. And even deeper, there's a quiet longing, a wanting for something more. Something that he smothers and keeps locked away in case that too, becomes sorrow.

The longer he looks, the more that feeling in his chest tightens and he tries to pull his face away, turning it so he can cough again and again. It's a fit that has him gasping for breath and he crouches down on the ground, holding his stomach as it goes on and on. Petals spill from his lips like specks of blood on the floor, one flower and then another falls to the ground and he still isn't finished.

After what feels like forever, he stops, gasping for breath and hoarsely, )

I can't lose either! Not.... anymore! ( His hands grab a fist full of the spider lilies on the ground, crushing them. The meaning isn't lost on him. Loss, longing, abandonment, lost memories. ) That's why it would... ( He clears his throat, ) ... It would be easier to just get rid of it.

( Of course, he doesn't really think that. He wouldn't still be a Touken Danshi if he thought those feelings were better off gone. )

[Mikazuki takes a step back as Tsurumaru starts coughing.

He's always been able to tell when Tsurumaru uses words and flippancy to hide fear and regret. This time is no different. He can tell. He can tell that Tsuru is scared, both of the feelings himself and of losing them. Because...]

If you really thought so, you would have told that person, and if they did not return your feelings then you would have gone to Aruji immediately.

.... But you didn't.

[He is going to call you out, you dumb bird.]

If you ask Aruji to cut it off now... then I will lose you just as surely as if it chokes you. I will not see your smile again, not the one I know you keep just for me. All the warmth we have shared over those long years, it will all be gone. Just because you cannot tell one person that you love them. Is it really worth it, Tsurumaru?

( He would have told that person.

He says it like he doesn't know. Has he concealed his feeling so well? He should be proud and yet, if he'd managed to successfully push Mikazuki away, this wouldn't be a problem in the first place.

He lets out a raspy laugh that sounds like a held back cry. He hates this. He hates this so much. Why did this have to happen to him? Things could have gone about normally if this had never happened. )

Because, MIkazuki Munechika! ( His chest hurts. It hurts so much, like it could split open at any moment. ) If I told you, would you let me go?

( The one he loves is Mikazuki Munechika. The one who still wants to see his smile. That warmth. The one who won't let him throw away these feelings. )

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