( Why is he not surprised and his attempt at a laugh comes out as another cough.
The worst comes when Mikazuki takes a hold of him, forcing to look up. His eyes meet Mikazuki's and in that pale gold, there's an immense sadness, one that Tsurumaru has kept with him for millennium now. And even deeper, there's a quiet longing, a wanting for something more. Something that he smothers and keeps locked away in case that too, becomes sorrow.
The longer he looks, the more that feeling in his chest tightens and he tries to pull his face away, turning it so he can cough again and again. It's a fit that has him gasping for breath and he crouches down on the ground, holding his stomach as it goes on and on. Petals spill from his lips like specks of blood on the floor, one flower and then another falls to the ground and he still isn't finished.
After what feels like forever, he stops, gasping for breath and hoarsely, )
I can't lose either! Not.... anymore! ( His hands grab a fist full of the spider lilies on the ground, crushing them. The meaning isn't lost on him. Loss, longing, abandonment, lost memories. ) That's why it would... ( He clears his throat, ) ... It would be easier to just get rid of it.
( Of course, he doesn't really think that. He wouldn't still be a Touken Danshi if he thought those feelings were better off gone. )
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The worst comes when Mikazuki takes a hold of him, forcing to look up. His eyes meet Mikazuki's and in that pale gold, there's an immense sadness, one that Tsurumaru has kept with him for millennium now. And even deeper, there's a quiet longing, a wanting for something more. Something that he smothers and keeps locked away in case that too, becomes sorrow.
The longer he looks, the more that feeling in his chest tightens and he tries to pull his face away, turning it so he can cough again and again. It's a fit that has him gasping for breath and he crouches down on the ground, holding his stomach as it goes on and on. Petals spill from his lips like specks of blood on the floor, one flower and then another falls to the ground and he still isn't finished.
After what feels like forever, he stops, gasping for breath and hoarsely, )
I can't lose either! Not.... anymore! ( His hands grab a fist full of the spider lilies on the ground, crushing them. The meaning isn't lost on him. Loss, longing, abandonment, lost memories. ) That's why it would... ( He clears his throat, ) ... It would be easier to just get rid of it.
( Of course, he doesn't really think that. He wouldn't still be a Touken Danshi if he thought those feelings were better off gone. )