He knows what he should do, what any other logical person would have done the moment they found Nikkari, and that is to take him back to the Citadel and try to sort all of this out in safety and comfort. Maybe if they get nowhere in the next few minutes, he'll do just that. If nothing else, he'll be able to ask for other opinions, or even find the person responsible for these feelings and how they've all gone wrong. They can fix this...
Ah, there's that ache in his chest again. Just a pang of...something. Just for a moment, when he imagines Nikkari desiring another. But...why?
He wants Nikkari to be happy. He wants everyone to be happy. Going through life in these bodies that come with feelings has to be miserable for some of the others. Some swords - most swords - have pasts made up of suffering. Memories tend to linger, to soak into skin and bones and cores, only done away with by fire or other such traumas. If a smile is all it takes to make things better, even a tiny bit better, then Ishikirimaru could never deny someone that. A smile, a kind word, a friend...
Nikkari is no less deserving than he is. He wants to be happy, as well. He wishes to be selfish with Nikkari's permission, to keep the other man in his company for as long as they're needed here. Even beyond that, if they can be so lucky. But time does not stop. Nikkari's coughing does not stop. The illness blossoming in his lungs does not stop to consider airways and small spaces that need to be kept unobstructed.
Bigger arms wrap just slightly tighter around Nikkari, aware of his trouble breathing and he thinks. Thinks about what to do, thinks about the man in his arms who could easily slip away if he isn't careful. Thinks about his words and the order in which they are spoken.
Be selfish.
The one I care for...doesn't know at all.
Why...tell him to be selfish? Tell the object of your affections to be selfish.
But he thinks now on the times Nikkari has spent with him. The controlled eagerness to be in his presence. The smiles, a little brighter in his company than in anyone else's. The vulnerability to ask him if he would ever have a chance to be elevated like him.
...Surely he's overthinking it, and at a time when every second counts more than the last.]
Nikkari-san...tell me. Who is it?
[They'll fix this. Somehow, he'll make sure that things are made right.]
no subject
He knows what he should do, what any other logical person would have done the moment they found Nikkari, and that is to take him back to the Citadel and try to sort all of this out in safety and comfort. Maybe if they get nowhere in the next few minutes, he'll do just that. If nothing else, he'll be able to ask for other opinions, or even find the person responsible for these feelings and how they've all gone wrong. They can fix this...
Ah, there's that ache in his chest again. Just a pang of...something. Just for a moment, when he imagines Nikkari desiring another. But...why?
He wants Nikkari to be happy. He wants everyone to be happy. Going through life in these bodies that come with feelings has to be miserable for some of the others. Some swords - most swords - have pasts made up of suffering. Memories tend to linger, to soak into skin and bones and cores, only done away with by fire or other such traumas. If a smile is all it takes to make things better, even a tiny bit better, then Ishikirimaru could never deny someone that. A smile, a kind word, a friend...
Nikkari is no less deserving than he is. He wants to be happy, as well. He wishes to be selfish with Nikkari's permission, to keep the other man in his company for as long as they're needed here. Even beyond that, if they can be so lucky. But time does not stop. Nikkari's coughing does not stop. The illness blossoming in his lungs does not stop to consider airways and small spaces that need to be kept unobstructed.
Bigger arms wrap just slightly tighter around Nikkari, aware of his trouble breathing and he thinks. Thinks about what to do, thinks about the man in his arms who could easily slip away if he isn't careful. Thinks about his words and the order in which they are spoken.
Be selfish.
The one I care for...doesn't know at all.
Why...tell him to be selfish? Tell the object of your affections to be selfish.
But he thinks now on the times Nikkari has spent with him. The controlled eagerness to be in his presence. The smiles, a little brighter in his company than in anyone else's. The vulnerability to ask him if he would ever have a chance to be elevated like him.
...Surely he's overthinking it, and at a time when every second counts more than the last.]
Nikkari-san...tell me. Who is it?
[They'll fix this. Somehow, he'll make sure that things are made right.]